I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
