I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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