Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he thought i was a dude.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
