There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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