I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
