umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
