my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
