I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
