I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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