She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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