Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
