if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
