I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
