I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
