I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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