Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
