listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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