did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
