After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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