Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
