that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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