so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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