doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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