pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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