just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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