So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
