i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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