I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize