She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
