I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
