Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize