How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
