i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Vodka?
Forever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
