My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
