OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
