There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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