my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
