No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
