He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
