apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
