my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
