Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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