weddingsv make me drug and hornr
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
