She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my sisters under your porch take her home
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize