my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
