He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
