Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
