I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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