the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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