nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
