Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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