my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
