at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
