I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
