I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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